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(Since Oct. 7, 1999)

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Getting smashed into a four-foot high wall by a 300-pound defensive goon who got cut by the NFL and gets therapy from trashing $500-a-week QBs neatly summarizes the Arena Football League.

It's an image that makes Tampa Bay Storm quarterback Jay Gruden, MVP of the 1993 Arena Bowl, rub his neck and grimace.

"In a playoff game," he says, "I once hit the wall and my neck snapped back over it. I fell to my knees and felt my neck to see if my head was still attached. If I'm rolling out near the wall, I make sure I get rid of the ball and brace myself. They try to kill the quarterback if you get near the walls."

Arenaball, a hybrid of football and hockey, is one strange game. Scoring is higher and more electric than the NFL.

Advertising-plastered, hockey-style dasher boards enclose the thin, green AstroTurf field, setting up pinball bumpers great for getting players' bells rung. Floor-to-ceiling rebound nets enclose narrow goal posts in the end zones, keeping errant kicks and too-high passes in play. Punts become TDs for the kicking team in the blink of an eye.

Almost everything shrank to fit the Arena league. The field? A mere 50 yards long and half as wide as an NFL field. And count the players out there 8, not 11. Offensive players with the exception of the quarterback and kicker stay on the field when the ball changes hands and do double-duty as defenders. Scoring is the standard 3 points for a field goal and 6 for a touchdown. But the 2-point conversion is an option for extra points. First downs still take 10 yards, but the average penalty relinquishes just 3. And kickers should never complain of being beyond their field goal range in this league.

"Obstacles such as the boards give the gladiator aspect to the players. The rebound nets keep the game alive, faster, like you're playing 'Keep Away,' " says Lary Kuharich, head coach of the Storm. "The players go both ways. That aspect certain players in the NFL couldn't do it. We play 7 minutes straight offense, defense or kicking. They have to be talented at all three. That, to me, is what makes it fun."

You don't get rich in this league. Scrubs and stars alike get paid the same $500 a week. A winning team pays a $150 bonus per man, per game.

On the Storm, only Gruden works year-round, handling promotional and community chores in the off-season. His favorite receiver, Patrolman Stevie Thomas, collects a paycheck from the St. Petersburg Police Department from August to May.

Arenaball means a two-hour, Friday or Saturday night roller-coaster ride for fans of the Tampa Bay Storm, Orlando Predators, Miami Hooters, Detroit Drive, Cleveland Thunderbolts, Albany Firebirds, Charlotte Rage, Dallas Texans, Cincinnati Rockers and Arizona Rattlers. This May, Las Vegas and Milwaukee join the summer league.

"You want to watch a three-hour event with five minutes of action? Or do you want something that's going to keep you on the edge of your seat?" Detroit Coach Tim Marcum asks. "We're always in scoring position, even on our own 5-yard line. But timing is so much a factor. You can't drop back and hold the ball five seconds. You do and you have a good chance of getting the crap knocked out of you."

Tampa Bay football fans took to the Storm in part because the team, and its ballsy owner, are the antithesis of the hapless NFL Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Storm games are non-stop, high-scoring, air-conditioned parties. Buc games are slow-moving, non-scoring, 100 percent humidity crying games. The Storm wins; The Bucs lose. Storm owner Bob Gries sits right behind his boys, in clear sight and earshot, screaming, cheering and agonizing over every play. He high-fives players and fans after wins.

"People in Tampa talked about how much they hate to lose," Gries says. "I'm totally, totally committed to winning, whatever it takes. I know how to be successful at things. Most of the time it's a good plan, a commitment to winning, then working like a madman."

Gries promised Storm season ticket holders 10 wins last year or they'd get a 20 percent refund. The Storm won 12, including the 1993 ArenaBowl, thumping Detroit 51-31. It was the Storm's second championship in three years, both at the hands of the Drive.

Gries is one of several Arenaball owners with experience in other sports; his family has owned a 43 percent interest in the Cleveland Browns since 1936. Detroit Drive owner Mike Illitch owns the Detroit Tigers, Red Wings and Little Caesars Pizza. Jerry Colangelo splits his time between his Arenaball Arizona Rattlers and the Phoenix Suns. Not surprisingly, their teams plus Don Dizney's Orlando Predators are consistently the class of the league, its toughest competitors.

Entering its eighth season , the Arena Football League has put comparisons to other failed NFL alternatives the WFL, USFL and WLAF behind it. Attendance has steadily improved. Coaching switched from a summer job to a year-round career. ESPN 2 signed on with a national TV deal.

Several NFL veterans found a second home in this league: Major Harris, Art Schlichter, Don Strock, Roman Gabriel, Danny White, Dick Nolan, Joe Kapp and Keith Browner, to name a few.

There is also talk of establishing a second season, in which Arenaball teams would take a month off, then move to Europe for a 10-game season, playoff and championship game. Like the NFL, the Arena Football League has sponsored sellout exhibitions in Paris, London and Frankfurt. And a second season would give players a chance to play football year-round instead of juggling two jobs.

"Great," Gruden snaps. "A year-round bruise. Year-round soreness."
Fans come close to the action in Arenaball. You can actually reach out and touch the players sometimes even beating a receiver to a catch. But that closeness can have its disadvantages, as an Orlando fan learned when he taunted Storm coach Lary Kuharich about penalties.

"Fuck you," Kuharich told the guy, who answered the coach in kind. Looking back at the fan, Kuharich said, "Fuck you, asshole." Kuharich walked over and gave the guy a hard shove. That emptied both benches.

Don't tell Kuharich it's not real football.

"The players and coaches who wind up in Arenaball are the ultimate warriors of our day and age," he says. "They don't care what people say. The public image of whether it's minor league or major league doesn't matter. This is football. It's not some kind of hoax."

During a Storm game against cross-state rival the Orlando Predators last season, a Predator took a cheap shot at one of Kuharich's guys without being answered in kind. "Jesus Christ! Knock him on his fuckin' ass!" Kuharich exploded. "If they're going to give us a flag, take him out! Take him out of the fuckin' game!"

A fan near the Storm bench couldn't believe what he just heard.

"That's all right," his pal tells him. "Last year, he made two of his own linebackers cry."

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